Saturday March 31, 2012
Him and Me
I close my eyes, and the past become vivid again. Memories replay themselves in my mind like film. I am seven years old, in a pink sundress. I grab the plastic chains of the swing and squeal as my dad pushes me to the tops of the clouds; I reach, pretending I can fly. My father laughs. I smile. 
I am ten years old, getting dressed to go to the father daughter dance. I walk down the stairs, my hair curled and lip gloss on. I feel beautiful. My dad smiles at me and beams. I smile too. 
I am eighteen years old, on a run through the park. The sun is scorching and sweat drips down my back. My run has turned into a walk; I feel the bite in my side, and burn of my legs, and scream of my lungs. The park is beautiful today, spring has come: the flowers have bloomed, the birds are out, and the trees are full of life. I close my eyes and pretend my dad is there with me. As we walk we talk about life. I see his smile. I hear his stories. Its like he is there right by my side, like he never left, like nothing ever changed. We walk together for hours him and me. I rest in the solace that there will always be "him and me" that although everything has changed....nothing has. 

Thursday March 29, 2012
14 days since my father went to see the Lord.

Forever My Prince Charming
I miss my dad tonight.
I miss him every day in different ways
but tonight seems to be more intense than the others.
I'm sad tonight.
Without my dad
I feel insignificant to the world.
Because in his eyes,
I was his world
I feel smaller now.
I'm sad tonight.
Without my dad
I feel lonely and abandoned in the world
Because he was my world.
I'm sad tonight.
Without my dad
I am a princess that misses her dad;
Because he was my prince charming.
I can smile tonight
because no matter how many days I have to go without him...
he always will be [my prince charming].

Forever
Forever my prince, he will always be.
Forever my heart will hold the place for he.

Forever my heart will love to make him smile
Forever in his arms, I will want to dance a while.

Forever his face I will long to touch
Forever his laugh I will love so much.

Forever my heart will cry from missing him
Forever I will grow stronger again.

Forever I will begin to fall from sadness to the floor
Forever my dads voice will tell me to turn to the Lord.

Forever my dad will look down on me and see

that Forever my prince, he will always, always be.

Thursday March 15, 2012
Gone with the River

Your fading you know? Dissolving away like blood in a rushing river. Your stains are washing out of my heart, this river is clearing. You are gone my love; gone with the river.  

Wednesday March 14, 2012


A day without dreaming
I have never had experiences like this before. I have never met so many people who filled my life with so much joy. Never have I been so blessed by people so filled with love. For the first time, I am learning what friendship really looks like, what it really means. I love the moments when we don't have to dream, because reality is so beautiful.


Fairy tales
Every girl loves a good conversation about love. Its funny really. The more experiences I have had with men, the more I have learned about myself. I’m not sure what it is about us girls and love. Its almost as if every woman believes in fairy tales- even if they don’t want to admit it. Because the truth is, we have all felt that magic, even if it was only for one night, in the perfect dress, with that perfect guy- and even after that night when the clock turned midnight and the pumpkin shriveled up and our prince charming never came searching for us; we tuck the sweetness of that night in our hearts- in the hope that one day the that magic will last forever. and it will; one day, it will last forever.


Fall away 

 It is so easy to get caught up in the future. To get swept up in worry: if I will ever pass my college math class, or how I am going to afford to go to India this summer, or what college I am going to after I finish my cores, or if I will have a healthy marriage, or how I will afford to live in this economy once I graduate....its scary, the future I mean. We are people of control. That is the funny thing; that we think we have any control over the happenings of our lives. I worry. I worry that my heart will get broken again, I worry I will disappoint people in my life, I worry when I am vulnerable, I worry I might fail. The fear passes though when I remember God is before me, that he is stronger than I. I put my palm against his and see the vastness of his hands. They cover me. God's hands are more than enough for me. They will not fail to hold me, they will not fail to strengthen me, they will not fail to heal, they will not fail to bring joy, they will not fail. My God will hold me. 

Thursday March 8, 2012
Moved

For those of you who haven't heard of Birdy; this 14 year old girl has talent that can melt hearts.

Absolutely gorgeous voice.

Check her music out. It's perfect for a cold rainy day (like today)!

Enjoy!

Skinny Love

Shelter

The A Team

Without A Word

Help The People

Wednesday March 7, 2012

Amazing pictures

Sunday March 6th- Monday March 5th 2012
The Art of Laughter
These past few days have been filled with hilarious episodes and some very trying times. Its funny how you can have such a horrible week, but laughter seems to heal the hurt. These past few days, I have learned so much and grown so much...and have laughed to the point of tears, multiple times, because of friends! Don't you love that!? That moment when you laugh so hard, you go silent? A real laugh, a rich laugh, a laugh that goes deep...so deep, it makes your soul smile. Its beautiful really, that laughing has the power to soak into your being and heal you from inside, out. 

A few random things that made me laugh:

-My roommate: going through Walmart, dirty dancing on people without them noticing her. 

- My roommate: mooning me in the middle of Walmart

- My roommate: Tripping over the bike in our kitchen

(My roommate has been quite hilarious, this week!)

One more random tidbit: 

All that matters is what you think of yourself. There is enormous worth and beauty in a woman who loves herself unconditionally. I think learning that this week helped the laughs go deeper. Regardless, of what anyone believes or thinks about me; I see my worth. I hope the same is true for you as well....

Life will be hard, and when it is: Laugh, Learn, and Love yourself. 

India Arie:

Beautiful Flower

Saturday March 3 2012

Night

"Wash"

Bon Iver

I got home from work just a bit ago; and now I'm sitting in my bed with lanterns lit around the room thinking over the day. It seems that each night my mind and I go through this routine. We sit together as I lie awake, and remember the thoughts of today: the people I met, the questions I had. I think about my life, the vastness of it all. I think about love and the loss of it. I wonder what the stars look like tonight without the city lights. I'm not sure why this happens. Maybe it is just for me to recognize my thoughts are important... even if they don't have answers yet. Even, if they are just words with no meaning. And most of them are.... but that doesn't make them any less beautiful. That doesn't mean they have any less significance.Words from our souls are brilliant treasures. We should savor them...every last sound, because those thoughts came from the inside of you.

love yourself again.  

Friday March 2 2012

"Starting now, from this point on go out and live life the way you want to, do things you have always wanted to do, chase your goals, forget other peoples opinions. Go on, and live. Not for them, for you."

- Anonymous

I read this quote this morning on Pintrest (if you don't have one; i'm warning you now it is uncontrollably addictive!) I wonder what my life would be like, if I lived by that quote. I guess now, I am in college hoping that if I live life the way I am now, later I can live the life I want to live. Its funny how other people's opinions of the way we choose to live our lives becomes more important than our own happiness. I would rather be unhappy and get through college, than make my parents unhappy and go travel around the world and write. I have chosen this; because this life is what pleases them. I do this with the hope, that one day, I will get to live the life that pleases me. 

If I was living my life by this quote, I would work and save as much money as I could...and then this summer..I would leave. I would not have a detailed plan; I would not go with an official travel organization. I would not feel the need to explain this desire to anyone. I would leave. I would rent a sailboat and I would spend days and days out on the seas of foreign countries soaking in the sun, and then savoring the land as I dwelled in the richness of culture. I would be free. I would spend a day floating in the Mediterranean sea; writing. I would go scuba diving and see all the gorgeous fish below the surface. (this might be an appropriate time to say that swimming with a whale shark is a major event on my bucket list!) I would learn new languages, be inspired by new people; I would climb mountains and sit on the top of the world with no memory of time. This is the life I want to live. This is the life I was born to live. 

Today, I sit in my apartment writing by a window that looks over the fields of Texas. I have homework to do, and work tonight and a burning in my heart for the day when I have become a writer and am traveling the world! The day that these college moments and Texas scenery will be only a memory. 

Just a few thoughts.
What would your life look like, if you lived life by this quote? 

Thursday March 1 2012
Rebuilt

My clothes drape to the floor as the sun drapes from the sky. It lets itself unwind; and so do I.  It’s as you fall apart that you are rebuilt again.